


Ignorance

by MillieMay



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-17 22:39:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7288885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MillieMay/pseuds/MillieMay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They say ignorance is bliss. When it comes to knowing your soulmate's last words the statement can't be any more true</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ignorance

**Author's Note:**

> God I have wanted to write a soulmates AU for Philinda FOREVER. I finally got the inspiration to do it for some reason recently but here ya go. This is the longest aos fic I’ve ever written and I’m so damn proud so enjoy!

Melinda peers in the mirror at the words scrawled on her hip. It burned like hell when they first appeared. When her eyes first met Andrew’s and it was like nothing she had ever experienced. The pain was blissful. Even more so when she married him. Not only did she meet her soulmate but she married him. Yet the words marked on her hip promised an end.  _ I love you.  _ Her heart smacks against her chest as she thinks about the words. They could mean anything. They say it so often that she doesn’t know when the next will be her last. So instead she thought of the positive. She imagined growing old and holding his hand all the way. The last words slipping from his lips before he dies. Her fingers would trace her neat handwriting at the base of his spine.  _ Everything’s gonna be alright.  _ They’d be together at the end. That’s what she’s certain of. But the back of her mind haunts her. Images of being captured in their own home. Killed together… Always together…

What she didn’t imagine was this. A little girl with her fingers reaching out to her. Promising death for one of them. Her fingers hit the smooth metal of the gun behind her. Her heart slamming against her chest. 

“Stop… Don’t-” Her voice breaks with the plea. She knows what she has to do… “Put your hand down and stop.” Her heart hardens as she feels the words aching in the back of her throat. She clenches the gun as her mind whispers a quiet goodbye to her husband. “Everything’s gonna be alright.” She picks up the gun and fires into the little girl’s chest. Melinda moves quickly despite the pain wrenching through her body. Katya’s eyes widen as she collapses into Melinda’s arms. Melinda watches in horror as the small girl goes slack in her arms. A burning sensation crawls through her. She’s convinced that the girl had tried to kill her before she had died…

Yet she’s still there. Melinda is still alive. Melinda’s heart pounds until Andrew picks up the phone. He’s fine. He’s home and he’s fine… He isn’t dead.

But she is.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Phil keeps his mark close to his heart. He can recognize Audrey’s writing on his wrist. He had found her even against the odds. She wasn’t an agent or someone affiliated with S.H.I.E.L.D. in any way. She is a concert cellist for Portland Philharmonic. God he could listen to her play for hours.

He met her when a stalker got a little too serious. He protected her. He saved her. In a way she had done the same for him. 

For the longest time his body remained blank of a mark. He was getting older with no soulmate in sight. His best friend not only found hers but married him as well. But when he found Audrey… He let’s out a sigh at the memory. His wrist burned for hours but he ignored it just so he could talk to her. Only risking looking at the words when they finished the mission, in fear that the words would be him failing her in this.

_ Come home. _

She had whispered that in his ear before he had left for New York. He couldn’t resist assigning a fellow agent to keep an eye on her. He had to make sure she was safe.

When the spear went through his chest… Part of him filled with relief. Those were her last words because it was his last time seeing her. The last words she says before their bond breaks and he dies. He smiles knowing he had died the way he had always dreamed. He was going to die as a hero.

His name would be placed on the wall of valor. Audrey would mourn for a long time but she would heal. She would understand that he died a hero’s death.

She’d understand.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Melinda’s thumb traces the words in disdain. Soulmates were supposed to be one in a million. God was that a lie. The burning sensation she had felt was the words on her hip changing. Her soulmate wasn’t Andrew anymore… He didn’t deserve this. She doesn’t deserve him. He’s so gentle and warm…

But she’s cold and hard. She can’t touch him anymore. Not without nightmares. She kept him up with her screaming but wouldn’t let him comfort her. She drank the memories away. He tried so hard and she just gave up. 

So she left. She left him so that he could find someone new. Someone that deserves him. Someone he could build the family he’s always wanted with.

_ This was never going to work if they didn’t have something to- _

The words cut off on her hip. Whoever it was dies before they can even finish their sentence. To make matters worse, it’s someone she knows. It wasn’t like with Andrew when she first met him the words appeared. It changed when she did. So she couldn’t even have a moderate clue who this person was.

So instead she went on with her days. She ignored the mark on her hip. It didn’t matter.

Until her hip started to burn again. Pain ripples through her body as she sits in her cubicle. It’s an ordinary day when the pain begins to flare. It’s not like the last time. This time it burns… It feels like she’s on fire. She has to excuse herself and rush out trying to catch her breath. 

The pain feels like it lasts hours before it fades away.

New words are in their place when she lifts her button down. Her heart aches slightly. Fury turns up days later with a small button in his hands. She recognizes the damn thing anywhere. A small golden shield that would pin to the collar of a shirt. Her heart drops to her stomach as Fury places a hand on her shoulder.

It was Phil who had been her soulmate. She had blown him off so many times after Bahrain and now he’s gone.

He’s gone…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

But then he’s not. Coulson recruited her for the new team. They’d been through hell and back between inhumans and hydra and other nonsense.

Melinda frowns as she punches the bag in front of her. Her wrists are starting to ache from the repetitive motions but she ignores the dull throb. 

“What do you want?” May asks to the room.

“Sorry.” Daisy steps out of the shadows with a small smile. “Just came to train a bit. I didn’t think anyone else would be awake.” Melinda tugs on her ponytail fixing it slightly. Melinda was clad in only a sports bra and capri leggings. Daisy was dressed similar but with a tank top.

“Want to join?” Melinda offers softly. The girl had been through a lot with her parents turning out being psychopaths and now she’s in charge of a team of her own.

“Seriously?” Daisy’s jaw drops. “Uh, I mean. Yeah. Totally.” Melinda smiles slightly with the roll of her eyes. She takes her place behind the bag as Daisy pulls on her own gloves. They fall into a blissful silence for a while only the smooth smack of the bag filling the room. However when they move to stretch she speaks up. “Do you know who it is?”

Melinda’s eyes follow the young Inhuman’s to the words on her hip. “No.”

“Don’t you want to know?” Melinda’s movements still with the question.  _ Now you’re free.  _

“No.” She answers simply.

“Wait what?” Daisy stands up straight curiosity flashing across her face. “If I had one I’d want to know.”

“I’ve already known before.”

“There can be more than one?” Daisy’s eyebrows shoot up.

“I lost both of them…” Melinda sighs. “One was Andrew.”

“But he’s still alive. I thought the words disappear when someone dies.”

“They do.” Melinda frowns. “He didn’t die but…”

“Bahrain.” Daisy’s face flushes in understanding. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. It’s just… My mom was my dad’s soulmate but… We saw how that turned out and I’ve never had my own. I thought it’d be Ward for a while but… Then Lincoln happened. I don’t know. I love Lincoln but it’s kind of okay knowing he’s not mine.”

“It hurts.” Melinda frowns. “When the second died… The pain from his death lasted hours.”

“Did you know he was?” Daisy asks slowly. 

“Not until it was too late.” Melinda states. “Normally the mark appears when you first meet them but he was different. It changed after Bahrain but I had already known him. I didn’t meet him that day so I had no idea until I figured out that he died.”

“I’m sorry May.” Melinda’s eyes drift to the window where Phil passes.

“He’s better now. It’s better this way. When he doesn’t know he doesn’t have to get hurt.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It took so long for another mark to appear on Coulson. It’s cut off with his stump. Only a few words managing to mix with his skin before it’s cut off by scarring.  _ But I scheduled a meeti-  _ The words blend with the scar. Black ink messy across the tissue and illegible. 

The mark comes in the storm that is Rosalind Price. Both her and the ATCU slip into his life like a hurricane. They throw him for a loop. So many mind boggling twists yet he’s not sure he wants to change it.

He actually likes her and that’s shocking to him. It had become hard for him to trust anyone outside of his team and now she swoops in so easily. 

She knows where he likes to eat. It’s a nice dinner with DJ’s Burgers split between the two of them. Of course they couldn’t have a normal meal without talking about work. She calls him Lancelot and it’s adorable because she’s letting her walls down. Even after he accused her of being a traitor. He hurt her but she still forgave him so easily.

“But I scheduled a meeting with Malick and that way-” He reacts to her words too late. The breaking of glass nabs his attention. His eyes move back to her in absolute terror. Her fingers clench her throat as blood spills from the wound. 

“No!” She’s gasping for air, eyes bugged. She’s choking and all her can do is watch. “No!” He kneels beside her cradling her body. “Stay with my voice. Stay with me Roz! Stay with the sound of my voice! Look at me! Right here!” He pleads, his voice breaking in utter desperation. There’s too much blood. She’s drowning in his arms and he can’t do a damn thing. He’s losing his soulmate. “Roz?” Then the sounds stop. “Roz I need you to breathe!” Her fingers slowly loosen, falling slack at her side as she looks up at nothing. “Please Roz!” He’s still holding on though, her blood thoroughly soaking his good hand. “Look at me! Breathe! Please… Just stay with me.” Slowly he gives up settling back against his heels. His hands are stained with crimson. He’s too late. He couldn’t save her…

His wrist burns as he lets out a pained cry.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Daisy’s head buzzes with dizziness and clarity at the same time. Lash hovers over her body pressing his hands together putting an end to the parasite that had plagued her. She didn’t want it to go… Everything hurts…

“Now you’re free.” His voice speaks calmly. No… Memories flash before her eyes of those words scrawled on May’s hip. It was Andrew… again somehow. She’s trying to gain strength to fight. Her own body rebels against her as she slacks against his frame. He lays her on the floor of the zephyr calmly. He doesn’t even know… Her eyes drift closed as she hears the thud beside her. She forces herself to sit up throwing the group of inhumans backwards. 

She couldn’t save him… Andrew’s hand reaches for hers. Her fingers shake as she takes his hand. This man had helped her so much. He had taken her through so much trouble and now he died saving her.

She couldn’t save him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Melinda gasps in pain as she is walking, her legs giving out from under her. Phil’s hands catch her shoulders as she collapses. His voice is frantic in her ear begging her to focus and tell him what was wrong. She wrenches her shirt up watching in agony as the letters burn off of her skin. She was losing him again… A new scrawl took it’s place as she slumps in his grip.

“Oh god Mel…” Phil whispers.

“It’s not the first time.” Melinda forces herself to sit up ignoring the pain still there. 

“How many times…” Phil whispers.

“This is the fourth.” She says standing. She forces herself not to check the new writing. Not to look for who would be next.

“The fourth?” He gasps. 

“Andrew was the first. Then Bahrain happened.” She swallows heavily. “The next I didn’t even know who he was until it was too late. Now Andrew is…” Melinda sucks in a breath gripping the place on her hip. “Now whoever this is… I don’t want to make them face that.”

“Lin…” He breathes. The writing on his wrist cut off with a simple  _ I  _ the rest blending into his stump. Her eyes fall on the writing letting out a bitter laugh.

“You’re lucky. I’d give anything not to know.” She shakes her head. 

“Who was he?” Phil asks. “The second one.”

She hesitates her eyes meeting his. Her heart aches for a second. She wants to tell him so badly. Nothing is in the way anymore. But Rosalind’s death is still raw. Her eyes shine with unshed tears as she looks away.

“Please.” Phil begs. “Let me help you.” His thumb reaches out tracing the spot on her hip lightly.

“You.” She whispers. “It was you.” He steps backwards in shock but his hand remains resting on her hip, the contact not daring to break away. His eyes burn into her skull. She refuses to meet his eyes. “Then New York happened.” She says slowly. “I thought… When you came back.” She sighs. “I thought it could be you again but…” She lets out a laugh clenching her teeth. “It wasn’t. In a twisted sick way I’m glad it wasn’t.” Melinda breathes slowly pushing his hand off of her. “But it had to be Andrew… And I couldn’t know until it was too late. He became someone else and I gave up on him again.” 

“Lin…”

“I don’t want it to be you again. I can’t bear knowing the last words you’ll say to me.” 

“Let me help you.” He pleads.

“How?” Melinda sighs. “Daisy hasn’t ever met her soulmate but she’s happy with Lincoln. Fitz and Simmons aren’t even soulmates and they’re as close as they are. They don’t have to suffer. I don’t want to know when you will die Phil.”

“Melinda… Do you trust me?” He asks. 

“Of course I do.” He pulls her body to his pressing her tightly against his form. She presses her face against his shoulder ready for whatever is about to happen. Burning spreads across her hip yet again. Yet it’s different from the last. It’s Phil… He’s burning her. Burning the words off her side. She screams into his skin clenching his shirt tightly. Her nails dig into his back but he doesn’t let up until he’s finished. He moves her to the medical bay and she follows numbly. Her mind is reeling. Andrew is dead. Phil knows. Daisy is coming home

Phil finishes bandaging her rubbing a comforting hand across her spine.

“I lost Audrey after New York. Then Rosalind.” He confesses to the otherwise empty room. She doesn’t answer. She doesn’t need to. They had spent so long avoiding each other. Claiming they were letting each other heal. The silence is enough between the two of them.

The silence is an apology. One that rings in both of their ears. They weren’t there for each other. They didn’t trust each other. Now they had nothing but each other. Sure they had their team but everyone on the team had someone. Lincoln had Daisy. Fitz had Simmons. Mack had Elena. Even Joey had Elena. That left each other. Yet they spent so long dancing around this. Dancing around the what could have been of their youth.

Now they have nothing left but each other.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Melinda finds herself staring in the mirror months later staring at the burn on her hip. The words are smudged and disoriented. They’re completely illegible. She can’t read the words that mean an end to someone. Whether it be death or trauma the words mark an end. 

In the end Daisy lost Lincoln. She had lost herself but secretly Melinda was glad he wasn’t her soulmate. That means eventually Daisy would heal. It’d be a long time but she’d find a way to put herself back together.

“Hey.” Phil’s arms wrap around her from behind as he presses his lips against the side of her throat. “You left bed.” He’s clad in only sweatpants, his bare chest pressed against hers.

“Tai chi.” She reminds him. “Not everyone can sleep until noon.”

“Hey the director sent us on a pretty rough mission. It’s been awhile since I’ve been out on the field properly.” Phil smiles slightly. “Besides I didn’t think you did Tai Chi in the bathroom.”

“I was thinking.” She admits.

“About?”

“Daisy.” She sighs. “I’m worried.”

“We’ll find her when she’s ready.” Phil frowns. His hand ventures down to the mark on her hip. “I didn’t like hurting you.”

“You helped.” She states.

“By hurting you.” His voice deadpans. His fingers trace the burn lightly. “Ignorance is bliss huh?”

“When it comes to this… Yeah.” Her eyes fall to the floor. Her fingers trace the letter before his prosthetic. It feels real except the fact that it lights up at her touch. 

“What do we do now Director?” Phil’s eyes meet her’s in the mirror. Sympathy reflects in his ice blue eyes threatening to break her heart.  
“We heal.”


End file.
